We Can’t Start Again

“But you can’t start. Only a baby can start. You and me – why, we’re all that’s been. The anger of a moment, the thousand pictures, that’s us. This land, this red land, is us; and the flood years and the dust years and the drought years are us. We can’t start again.” – John Steinbeck

Hello again fans, friends, and fiends of the internet. I want to state right off the bat that this isn’t a review of a game or opinion on what’s going on with the video game industry. Ever since I got back from E3 my life has been in proverbial limbo. Many of you might not know this, but for the last two years I’ve worked in politics as a campaign organizer for various candidates from local to state representatives. The work I was doing was very critical, but it was thankfully flexible enough to allow me to attend events such as E3, PAX, and SDCC.  The job was very stressful at times, but in a good way because it pushed me to become a better communicator and articulate my thoughts in a constructive manner rather than spewing out whatever came to mind.

Leading up to my final campaign I polished my application to IGN, confident that things were finally in motion and that all the hard work I’d put in over the last four years would pay off.  I had a portfolio of articles I was proud of and was promoting myself on YouTube, Twitch and Twitter, along with a resume that was augmented with letters of recommendation from major government officials. For weeks after submitting my application I was constantly frustrated due to not knowing if I had made the cut for my dream job amid 1,500 other applicants. Ultimately we lost the campaign, but what scared me the most was the lack of response to my application.  After debating whether or not to call or visit the IGN office, I looked up Steve Butts (Editor-in-Chief of IGN) on Facebook and sent a half-hearted message, thinking I wouldn’t get a response; to my surprise, he responded within the hour with what was the hard truth.

It wasn’t harsh or vindictive in any way, but it was like a kid finding out that Santa Claus isn’t real. I won’t go into detail about what he said, but I’m thankful that he did. You see, for the last four years I’ve been going at this with no structure or guidance and for someone like him to point out those simple things destroyed my world. For days after I became an emotional wreck debating everything about myself, from my choice in friends, to my work, my joys and my life. It’s really scary at the age of twenty seven not knowing if you can accomplish anything in your life. In my mind it seemed that I’d run out of time and that everything was hopeless. If my life were a movie, this would be the part where someone or something would set me back on the right path and I would be hunky dory.  Life isn’t that cheesy, but something far better happened: I grew the fuck up which has never happened to me EVER!

So what does this all mean? Well, I have a better perspective on my goal and I no longer have any fantasies or delusions holding me back. I’m blessed to have the support of my friends and family to continue my journey.  This is why I’ve changed my Twitter handle from GameOverParra to ContinueParra (also I didn’t want to be confused with GameOverGreggy anymore). Not only that, but I’m determined to write at regular intervals and set deadlines for myself in order to get content out, as well as taking actual writing courses! You can still catch me Monday through Thursday on Twitch, streaming content and improving my on-screen personality. One major thing that I want to work on is posting vlogs on my neglected YouTube channel and collaborating again on funny skits. Thank you for taking the time to read this and I look forward to your comments.

[insert witty commet here] or down below which ever you prefer.

About Michael Parra

Nothing more then your average history major trying to find meaning in a meaningless society. If I could I would live without possession or money, but there is just way too much cool stuff out there like shiny bottle caps and kettle popcorn. View all posts by Michael Parra

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